What I Want to Hear from My Parents
Is there something you’ve always wanted to hear from your parents?
Words that would bring comfort, validation, or healing?
I’ve thought about this question a lot, and a recent discussion on Reddit brought it to the forefront of my mind again.
One Reddit user shared:
“My parents are deceased, and I would have liked to have heard my dad tell me that he is proud of me. I would have liked to hear my mom tell me that she is sorry & that she loved me.”
Many of us carry unspoken wishes for words that might help mend old wounds or affirm our worth. In exploring this topic, I came across responses that resonated deeply.
Here are some powerful statements people wish they had heard from their parents:
“I'm sorry for allowing my inability to evolve and do better hinder OUR relationship. I'm the mom. It's my responsibility to get myself right so I can show up for you, validate you, and love/respect you. I messed up, and I’ll strive to do better.”
“I wish my father could see the pain he passed onto me and my siblings without making it about his regret. I want to know that I’m not bound to his mistakes. I want to know that I’m worthy of love and that I have the power to break the cycle.”
“You mean so much to me.”
“That they were sorry. That’s it really.”
“I apologize for... I would do... differently if I could. I’m here for you in any way you need. I take accountability for...”
“As a trans person, I would love to hear ‘I love you [preferred name]’ or something along the lines of accepting my preferred self.”
“I love you and accept you for exactly who you are.” Then a real, actual hug—not just a pat on the back.
Reflecting on these responses, I noticed some key themes that so many of us long for from our parents:
Acknowledgment – Recognizing the impact of their words and actions in the parent-child relationship.
Acceptance – Embracing who their children are, including the people they have grown into as adults.
Love – Expressing love both verbally and through physical gestures, like hugs.
Apology – A simple, heartfelt “I’m sorry” can go a long way in healing wounds.
As we think about what we wish our parents had said,
we can also reflect on how we show up in our own relationships
with our children, partners, and friends. Are we offering the acknowledgment, acceptance, love, and apologies that we ourselves crave?
I invite you to take a moment and consider: What would you like to hear from your parents? What words would bring healing or closure? If you feel comfortable, share your thoughts in the comments below.
Creating space for insight is, in my opinion, essential for healing and growth.
